India plants flag on moon

NEW DELHI November 15th AP– India celebrated Saturday after planting its white & green flag on the moon. The moon probe from the orbiting mother spacecraft took pictures and gathered other data India needs for a future moon landing before it plummeted into the moon’s South Pole, according to Indian Space Research Organization spokesman B.R. Guruprasad.

WASHINGTON DC December 1st, Washington Post– There are numerous unconfirmed reports regarding the aftermath of India planting her flag on the moon. The force of the space projectile ramming into the moon at over 3,000 mph (faster than a speeding bullet) has apparently dislodged elements of the moon’s crust, which have somehow been released from the moon’s gravitational force. Stranger still is the latest disclosure that a piece of the debris was able to float off into space until it came in contact with the International Space Station–more to come on this unusual story.

BANGKOK December 3rd, The Astro Bar, Patpong Road–Jake had learned incredible details from his CIA pals regarding the space debris from the moon that has somehow found its way to the International Space Station. According to my long-time cohort and regular at the bar, CIA agent “Jake” (who has just returned from “special assignment” in Washington D.C.), the subject of the “moon debris” is hush-hush back at Langley.

According to Jake the falling debris was a direct cause of the “tool case” incident involving astronaut Heide Stephanyshyn–Piper. Informed sources told Jake that a piece of the debris rammed into Ms. Piper’s helmut and caused her to lose her grip on the tool case; thus eliciting her now famous quote: “Oh, great!”

A mere $100,000 tool case loss is nothing compared to what slammed into astronaut Heide Stephanyshyn–Piper’s helmut.

First of all, I have never seen the rogue CIA agent in such a sober state. What I am about to reveal is privileged information and Jake has already stated that he will publicly disavow any knowledge of it.

According to the same informed source in Washington, astronaut Heide Stephanyshyn–Piper was able to retrieve the piece of debris that caused her to lose her tool case. She subsequently brought it inside the International Space Station and (with interior ISS cameras turned off) amazed her fellow space travelers. What they saw was apparently some type of ancient time capsule!

More to follow on this incredible story…

–Senior Foreign Service Officer Matthew “Troop” McKullen

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